What am I doing?

Welcome back! 

Do you ever feel like you just don't know what you’re doing?

Yeah? Well, I am feeling the SAME WAY! You, my friend, are not alone. 

Lately, I have been in a funk, where I just don't know if I am doing what I am supposed to be doing or moving forward in my career and even life. Most days, I want to just lay around binge watching Friends because I can, even though I have a to-do list about half a mile long. 

Being a filmmaker is so defeating sometimes. I just watched the Friends episode where Joey goes to Vegas to shoot a film, only to arrive as they were shutting down because of money. That just hit me so hard. Finding money as a filmmaker is so hard - you have to get investors or crowdfunding to make your vision and art come to life. Your not even a starving artist, you are starving and barely an artist because you need money to be an artist. 

I am so lucky to have a job in TV, and the flexibility and time to create my own work as well. However, I am hitting a wall. I have so much going for the projects I am working on, but I realized that I need money in order to create my projects. I need to pay my talent and my crew. And not only do I need to pay my cast and crew, I need to feed them and pay for the last minute props and equipment that needs to be rented. Realistically, I should have to pay for an editor as well, however, I am taking that role and paying myself with pats on the back. 

Funding my project isn't the only obstacle I have come across. As a producer, I am constantly problem solving for anything and everything. In the role of producing, it sometimes feels so defeating. I want you to know that it's not easy and if your a filmmaker, I understand you. If you are an artist of any sort, I understand you, I relate to you, and I support you.